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Harry Watson's avatar

Don't beat yourself up too much Mabel, if you can't be harsh, blunt and somewhat angry when you're young then when can you be? I certainly was. With age comes mellowness although I'm not sure that's always a good thing. And you write with maturity, even though you may feel you haven't much experience of life and love. Don't forget experience is valuable at any age and it's sadly something that can't be taught. Us older in years can advise, guide and caution but we can't 'be' those that are younger. The problem with some of us oldies is we try to tell those younger what they should do or even worse what they should think. And if I may paraphrase good old Oscar my depth of experience simply means I've made more mistakes. Life and love are complicated topics but you write of them with coherence and integrity. And you are more than correct when you write of the three wonderful women with whom I've shared much of my life. Once lovers and now dear friends. And though it's now all a long time ago I began my learning from my girlfriends before I left my northeast home. They've cropped up in my writings now and again. The innocence of my first relationship at just fourteen with Diane, my longest girlfriend relationship, at a year, with Susan and then the first girl I believe I felt love for, Barbara - who sadly chucked me for my best friend at school and is still married to him fifty years later. As the Tennyson line goes

I hold it true, whate'er befall;

I feel it, when I sorrow most;

'Tis better to have loved and lost

Than never to have loved at all.

I look forward to your next piece and continuing the conversation... my next piece includes a favourite film of mine. I suspect it will not be a surprise when you discover what it is.

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Harry Watson's avatar

This is a thought-through and thought-provoking piece, Mabel. As one of the 'baby-boomer' generation, I'm probably not too qualified to comment on today's relationships. Especially given that I've been thrice married, I guess I fall into the category of those who see marriage as somewhat disposable.

But I don't. Married at age 19, 28 and 48, I was in love on each occasion and believed that love would last a lifetime. The relationships ended not because of third parties or reasons other than each of my wives, Kym, Veronica and Sarah, and I realised that while we enjoyed our time together, our lives were now following separate paths. In times past, yes, we might have stayed together. Yet, I've seen how that erodes the soul of a relationship, and ultimately, a couple ends up with little care or respect for each other. So, we chose separation and divorce and have succeeded in keeping friendly, respectful and indeed loving relationships. I accept that I, Kym, Veronica and Sarah may be the exception to the rule. 

Despite my relationship history, I still see (probably naively) myself as a 'Romantic'. Born in the mid-fifties and long before dating Apps, I, of course, 'courted' girls. As a youngster, I found there were few more nerve-wracking experiences than asking a girl out on a date. I have never seen myself as having a huge male ego, but what I had as a young teenager was somewhat fragile. 

I suppose I could blame my mother for seeing that divorce is not a dirty word in that she was a divorced woman. Something that in the late 1940s brought with it a 'reputation'. But she divorced to escape an abusive relationship, so in my book, her reputation was that of a woman who knew her own mind. With a mother like that and a father who still 'courted' her after a couple of decades of marriage, I am fortunate that the two of them spent time to ensure I do not see women as objects. As a male role model, I like to think I've flowed down to my daughters (and granddaughters) not to see themselves as 'objects' and sons (and grandsons) who don't look to objectify in some attempt to massage their egos. If, as you hope, things are to change in society, then it will only come through that approach.

The one thing that worried me is your statement that "we all need a partner our side as we grow older, and it is unnatural to pretend this is not the case". My worry comes from the fact that for the past year or so and now until the end of my life, I will have no partner by my side. It doesn't feel unnatural, but maybe I'm fooling myself. It could be because while Sarah and I are no longer physically or emotionally together, we are as close as always. We message each other every day, speak often and visit each other. We are off to Paris together for a few days in June, not to rekindle something of the past but because we enjoy each other's company as loving friends. Because of that, I feel I have an emotional partner for life, and maybe one needs it as one ages rather than a physical presence.

Anyway, forgive the ramblings of an old man. As I said at the start, you've written a thought-provoking piece that I much enjoyed reading and reflecting upon.

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